swimming in the most beautiful swimming hole i have ever seen. the water is clear and i can see the ways it has worn the rocks down in gradients along the edges. A girl i am with is looking at them with me. people are screaming, yelling that there is a swell up the river. I swim quickly to this rock island. the middle huge flat iron looking rock at the break of the rivers begins to burst apart from a rush of a swell. it crumbles to the ground. i decided i safest underwater behind my rock island..which crumbles in the rush, i am dragged in the current, rocks everywhere rushing to the waterfal at the end. then i swim up.
i survived and no one wants to hear about it. all my fingers are broken
Wednesday, July 19, 2017
Tuesday, July 18, 2017
a house on the rocks by the shore. we are down swimming at the beach. red couches line the sand. at the peak of tide men riding white horses come in with spears. if we are not out of the water at this moment, we will be taken out to sea. i discover this at the last moment, but v is still on the sand. i run up and inside. i pull her body through the air into the home and we watch from the window. we can see the belly of the horse leaking clear oil into the water, dripping into the streets of the town. if they see us through the window, which they do, we are damed. i try and fly up through the roof, crashing through layers of glass and wood and tar, but i can't escape. I am back in the kitchen peeling vegetables, hoping the sink doesn't over flow and the pots and pan crash to the floor.
in another dream I am on a trampoline doing tricks with my aunts. I hear the voice of my grandma, but no one else does.
Monday, July 17, 2017
we are in the mountains looking for orange skies and white hydrangea.
there is just the right amount of density of peaks.
we are leaving, heading to the shore.
you say you can go on and i say we still have things back at the hotel room.
we go to the hotel room, you hand me the key - room 283 or 284.
i cross the pool and another pool to get to the room.
the door is already open and the cleaners are hanging around in the room.
one sitting on the bed playing my guitar.
i gather this and that - jar of peanut butter, a sports bra, baby clothes.
i mention my mother and she walks in. i wake up
there is just the right amount of density of peaks.
we are leaving, heading to the shore.
you say you can go on and i say we still have things back at the hotel room.
we go to the hotel room, you hand me the key - room 283 or 284.
i cross the pool and another pool to get to the room.
the door is already open and the cleaners are hanging around in the room.
one sitting on the bed playing my guitar.
i gather this and that - jar of peanut butter, a sports bra, baby clothes.
i mention my mother and she walks in. i wake up
we try to get together again but it is too hard and we argue. The bed is too high and i knock you off the edge. You kick me in the face. We are away from the bed now and I am deleting files off your computer. I tie you to me with a clear thread. I am wrangling you, trying to get you to speak to me. I tell you I am only using force because you act like a child. You pull out scissors and I melt the blades.
I am vieled in front of a vanity. The fabric comes with a rubber mask. This startles me in the mirror, i take off the blonde wig and the shawl and rip it out.
You've found someone to talk to and she takes your side. My love and patience is no help. She gives you a drug called Zulu. Candy is sold from a building to subsidize the rent.
The center of my childhood home is burnt to the ground.
You've found someone to talk to and she takes your side. My love and patience is no help. She gives you a drug called Zulu. Candy is sold from a building to subsidize the rent.
The center of my childhood home is burnt to the ground.
Monday, April 10, 2017
lost my wallet and the woman in the couple who found it was quite paranoid about my intentions with her mate. i insisted i just wanted my wallet back. she made it difficult, planting decoys. it didn't help he hid me under the bed. places that feed my plants and hold water away.
got the wallet, but wouldn't give my ID -- went to the police and reported false ids and decoys. tracking device on the original, but she got arrested so she could yell truths at authority and already made 1000 copies. completely out of anyones control
got the wallet, but wouldn't give my ID -- went to the police and reported false ids and decoys. tracking device on the original, but she got arrested so she could yell truths at authority and already made 1000 copies. completely out of anyones control
stratosphere to avoid satillites and surveillance
it always takes so much energy to fly up to this space that is suspentsion, the spaces between places.
i am always trying to pass under the radar of an occupation. we are dots to move in coordination with the group. focus on the pattern, if you diverge you are removed.
held the earth by it's cold polar ends
it always takes so much energy to fly up to this space that is suspentsion, the spaces between places.
i am always trying to pass under the radar of an occupation. we are dots to move in coordination with the group. focus on the pattern, if you diverge you are removed.
held the earth by it's cold polar ends
Sunday, February 26, 2017
Tuesday, February 14, 2017
Big hoise piano atrium
some one made a short film of us
watched it once on my internet browser,
Then wouldn't reload with the backbar.
Meanwhile the entire swim team pours in
Garcia makes a move on me and i am attracted but rigid with his arm around me
watched it once on my internet browser,
Then wouldn't reload with the backbar.
Meanwhile the entire swim team pours in
Garcia makes a move on me and i am attracted but rigid with his arm around me
Left over vintage whiskey, nice cheeses and gold chockers
Playing the on the piano stairs in the atrium during projection show
I am taken to a mangy postbox, in an off beat field/squat. I spit the pill out of my mouth. I dont touch anything
My mother sent me an envelope of reminders, had to be resorted. Visions of women. Fed up with men and a wanting to be gay. I am brought back to a bar where i was blonde and losing sanity. Stole a stool and caught by and old man. I wake up crying and having the same fit on this side
My mother sent me an envelope of reminders, had to be resorted. Visions of women. Fed up with men and a wanting to be gay. I am brought back to a bar where i was blonde and losing sanity. Stole a stool and caught by and old man. I wake up crying and having the same fit on this side
Sunday, February 12, 2017
in the car, it's a carpool we are riding a woman is building a very fancy house and asking why i broke up with t, it was your idea was it? yes i didnt want to be with him, his emotions were too violent. her marble entry way was epic, i asked for a tour and she said no. okay i'll wait for the unveiling, meanwhile kept in her garage with cheese pizza and trash on the ground.
evacuation we are blading babes roller blading up the 85 zooming past the evacuating crowds, all on foot. an exodus, nuclear war threats fueled evacuation. my roller blades are really just rocks i roll and sometimes shuffle my feet like iceskating on hard wood floors with socks on. a friend of mine zooms past and we are all babes on blades. following the highways still. we divert now from the highway to follow these temporary roads and water way holdings. they veer off eastward into bamboo woods, turn quick turns like mountain switch backs. the powerful want us to led to safety. but not it stops suddenly at a water holding tank like they ran out of time, or gave up, or were unorganized and abused their power and resources, it all happened too fast, faster than they could have planned and i felt betrayed, but knowing and ready to waste no time and respond. We will head back to the highway. we had been running now for miles. I said i never have worked out this much in my whole waking life combined, okay that's a lie, i just dont' run like this. the girl next to me is a runner. we are close-ish to the 285 now, we've been running for dozen or so miles. It's easy to see the way to the highway, I follow the large gravel path, much more practical than the elaborate evacuation foot paths, but made for the trucks that built them. you could hear the highway in the distance, or maybe more so feel the void it makes in the space between the trees. on the way there are working supporters wearing blue wetting and raking gravel like nothing was happening and the whole city maybe world had gone to shit. i knew they were brainwashed and dangerous so i said "thank you for your hard work!" in a genuine tone and jog on past them. we get to the highway. I weep because it is completely empty, save a few walking clusters and cars racing quickly down and crash flipping themselves suicide. the evacuation routes were such a scam, the highways needent be jammed but not empty either i thought of the clogged people headed towards deadends, maybe right in harms way and more systematic betrayal. we are walking along the exit. a group of 5-7. i say, i know it's a dream, but this 85 looks nothing like the real one, also we should exit before the 285/85 exchange because it's probably a death trap. We are walking down buford highway and stop in a restaurant that seems to be running more or less normally, we open the back door to use the restroom and a man hangs next to his broom in the back. I go into a dark lit room and grab a big bag of chips to eat i am starving a dehydrated. i walk past and realize a man is a the counter behind his register and I am caring a big back of chips, won't get away with it, so i walk up to him and hand him the bag, reach for my wallet, he says 2..thousand seven hundred dollars. and i just give him a confused squint ugh grimmace look, put the wallet back i my pocket like "i see the hardest of times has brought out your most essential human traits. hope you're happy with yourself" give him the hangloose sign and grab my crotch and walk out the door. my friends are going down an escalator, they won't even waiting for me. one of the girls is eating peanut butter crackers and i say "how much were those?" ---"$500" I am left wondering if she paid with cash or a credit card and if i should have just charged it, and if the wifi is still a thing or if dial up could be used. and meanwhile a space ship flies slow and low over head like they are moving their war machine, so satellites still work obviously but nothing was ever in our control to begin with. I begin thinking where I'm even trying to go - north to my parents house? they're probably at the lake. what will i eat when i get there. i can make a plant grow, but i can't propagate seeds. this is nuclear war, the soil will be bad anyway. survival hoarding was starting to look pretty smart.
at the 285 exchange we enter this large made town recreation center i slam a door people are walking in and out of movie picture shows like nothing is happening really i wonder how much they are paying we stop at an closed bar counter and talk about our next move. a girl says there is an escort service here she recommends we offer ourself up saying they'd take this skinny lanky women we are with in a heart beat. explains they would feed us and sell us, we would be in it for life, but at least we would have a life and it would be filled with the same comforts as our old lives except we would have to dance and fuck
i didn't feel like being trapped in sexual slavery, or maybe still had hope there was some place for me to go
the elevator got off at the rainbow corridor which was an over pass staircase that descended to the other side of the highway. it went down and down and down we were sliding down the banister to the other end and finally the glitter color show stopped in an abrupt black and i stopped too like needle of the record.. a sense of dread loomed at the bottom and i couldn't wouldnt look, just turned around and starting ringing back up. shoving the people in descent frantically out of my way, couldn't even yell a warning to anything whatever it was because i truely saw nothing, we arrive back at the elevator, it opens we shove ourselves in and a few other people at this point are changing our minds we hit the close close close the door button, then M for main floor the * ground level...the silent bewildered elevator ride down ? should it be up? i don't want to go underground, but i trust the star. doors open the same black. we stare at it long enough, could have been 3 full seconds then same frantic door closing. i imagine the girls deadlimp bodies. don't know what floor to go to. prepared to hop fences.
evacuation we are blading babes roller blading up the 85 zooming past the evacuating crowds, all on foot. an exodus, nuclear war threats fueled evacuation. my roller blades are really just rocks i roll and sometimes shuffle my feet like iceskating on hard wood floors with socks on. a friend of mine zooms past and we are all babes on blades. following the highways still. we divert now from the highway to follow these temporary roads and water way holdings. they veer off eastward into bamboo woods, turn quick turns like mountain switch backs. the powerful want us to led to safety. but not it stops suddenly at a water holding tank like they ran out of time, or gave up, or were unorganized and abused their power and resources, it all happened too fast, faster than they could have planned and i felt betrayed, but knowing and ready to waste no time and respond. We will head back to the highway. we had been running now for miles. I said i never have worked out this much in my whole waking life combined, okay that's a lie, i just dont' run like this. the girl next to me is a runner. we are close-ish to the 285 now, we've been running for dozen or so miles. It's easy to see the way to the highway, I follow the large gravel path, much more practical than the elaborate evacuation foot paths, but made for the trucks that built them. you could hear the highway in the distance, or maybe more so feel the void it makes in the space between the trees. on the way there are working supporters wearing blue wetting and raking gravel like nothing was happening and the whole city maybe world had gone to shit. i knew they were brainwashed and dangerous so i said "thank you for your hard work!" in a genuine tone and jog on past them. we get to the highway. I weep because it is completely empty, save a few walking clusters and cars racing quickly down and crash flipping themselves suicide. the evacuation routes were such a scam, the highways needent be jammed but not empty either i thought of the clogged people headed towards deadends, maybe right in harms way and more systematic betrayal. we are walking along the exit. a group of 5-7. i say, i know it's a dream, but this 85 looks nothing like the real one, also we should exit before the 285/85 exchange because it's probably a death trap. We are walking down buford highway and stop in a restaurant that seems to be running more or less normally, we open the back door to use the restroom and a man hangs next to his broom in the back. I go into a dark lit room and grab a big bag of chips to eat i am starving a dehydrated. i walk past and realize a man is a the counter behind his register and I am caring a big back of chips, won't get away with it, so i walk up to him and hand him the bag, reach for my wallet, he says 2..thousand seven hundred dollars. and i just give him a confused squint ugh grimmace look, put the wallet back i my pocket like "i see the hardest of times has brought out your most essential human traits. hope you're happy with yourself" give him the hangloose sign and grab my crotch and walk out the door. my friends are going down an escalator, they won't even waiting for me. one of the girls is eating peanut butter crackers and i say "how much were those?" ---"$500" I am left wondering if she paid with cash or a credit card and if i should have just charged it, and if the wifi is still a thing or if dial up could be used. and meanwhile a space ship flies slow and low over head like they are moving their war machine, so satellites still work obviously but nothing was ever in our control to begin with. I begin thinking where I'm even trying to go - north to my parents house? they're probably at the lake. what will i eat when i get there. i can make a plant grow, but i can't propagate seeds. this is nuclear war, the soil will be bad anyway. survival hoarding was starting to look pretty smart.
at the 285 exchange we enter this large made town recreation center i slam a door people are walking in and out of movie picture shows like nothing is happening really i wonder how much they are paying we stop at an closed bar counter and talk about our next move. a girl says there is an escort service here she recommends we offer ourself up saying they'd take this skinny lanky women we are with in a heart beat. explains they would feed us and sell us, we would be in it for life, but at least we would have a life and it would be filled with the same comforts as our old lives except we would have to dance and fuck
i didn't feel like being trapped in sexual slavery, or maybe still had hope there was some place for me to go
the elevator got off at the rainbow corridor which was an over pass staircase that descended to the other side of the highway. it went down and down and down we were sliding down the banister to the other end and finally the glitter color show stopped in an abrupt black and i stopped too like needle of the record.. a sense of dread loomed at the bottom and i couldn't wouldnt look, just turned around and starting ringing back up. shoving the people in descent frantically out of my way, couldn't even yell a warning to anything whatever it was because i truely saw nothing, we arrive back at the elevator, it opens we shove ourselves in and a few other people at this point are changing our minds we hit the close close close the door button, then M for main floor the * ground level...the silent bewildered elevator ride down ? should it be up? i don't want to go underground, but i trust the star. doors open the same black. we stare at it long enough, could have been 3 full seconds then same frantic door closing. i imagine the girls deadlimp bodies. don't know what floor to go to. prepared to hop fences.
Friday, February 10, 2017
smooth sand paths
ochre golden with blue puddles
i wade as they grow gradual deeper.
thorns impail the bottoms of my feet then bruise around the wound
i lean against a rock and pull them out slowly
i am near a family but alone, not wondering what they think of this
the kids feet are unscathed because they don't walk along the bottom
the water is deeper in the pale yellow sand. i'm actually enjoying the sunlight
baby turtles are hatching and full shells are unharmed underwater.
i am smiling on the rocks
big turtles gather and small ones latch hook noselip to my calves
we are meeting in the coffee shop now you are no longer my real friend but we are more than ever friends, i told you you are both done to me but we've both just begun. i will die alone here and I am fine. All i've ever wanted to do is give myself a voice and that's all i need. please stay away from my body please stay away from my body. i drink the coffee you buy me which turns out to be blood
him and i collect guitars along the road
secret markets threatened and titled resistance
they're making their way farther down the highway with blocks
this trip we are on, not sure if it's a trap
we switch seats on the plane to sit next to one another, but there's a couple marked by the marker's eye. one part yono, the other cult murder following. we keep our arms off the armrest to not appear as lovers
ochre golden with blue puddles
i wade as they grow gradual deeper.
thorns impail the bottoms of my feet then bruise around the wound
i lean against a rock and pull them out slowly
i am near a family but alone, not wondering what they think of this
the kids feet are unscathed because they don't walk along the bottom
the water is deeper in the pale yellow sand. i'm actually enjoying the sunlight
baby turtles are hatching and full shells are unharmed underwater.
i am smiling on the rocks
big turtles gather and small ones latch hook noselip to my calves
we are meeting in the coffee shop now you are no longer my real friend but we are more than ever friends, i told you you are both done to me but we've both just begun. i will die alone here and I am fine. All i've ever wanted to do is give myself a voice and that's all i need. please stay away from my body please stay away from my body. i drink the coffee you buy me which turns out to be blood
him and i collect guitars along the road
secret markets threatened and titled resistance
they're making their way farther down the highway with blocks
this trip we are on, not sure if it's a trap
we switch seats on the plane to sit next to one another, but there's a couple marked by the marker's eye. one part yono, the other cult murder following. we keep our arms off the armrest to not appear as lovers
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