i couldn't get my car to brake and tried to rein it in a like a horse
I pulled her over in a peach grove

aphids in the yard, aphids in the pool
they get as big as chickens, but my sister claims they don't age
Aphids stick like slugs to my feet and my butt and swim into my mouth

there are two dolphins in the pool too
who were rescued from being poisoned in captivity.
they fuck compulsively

the ocean spits out bass,
large black fish with yellow spots
large birds bring them up into the air and then hang them from trees to more easily feed on their insides
the coyotes carry them off in biped packs
advertisements for whipped-cream hover above it all in the air on drones
no one else seems to be annoyed by the aphids

i am in a canoe with my family
we see an albino bass
and a runt
back off to sea

i have one hand down my throat and am filming the coral with the other
my vocal chords have been pierced and a chain runs through the hole

i am Lorina of a made up mythology,
a fish caught in ancient times
my ancient cries
(or a contemporary affliction,
in the guise
of truth tradition)

i am supposed to learn to shut up
or else be left alone
(or i am supposed to leave everything i thought i could have and know?)

hit in the face with a feather -- a blade of grass stuck to my skin across my forehead.
i sent you a video of me with a hair caught in my eye
a crow i called to landed to stand on my hand.
a bear who was tamed and friends with dogs hugged me, licked my face and i was not afraid.
like meeting an old friend.
children looked at me to follow and nature gave me the sensitivity of all its undomesticated animals.

an earthquake came and underwater was hot with lava. i sought refuge in the clouds. built your head out of mache and your arms out of burlap felt and straw

maternal stress dreams
and secret places in mississippi
our place, you never told us
all the avocados are over ripe
and i am crying so hard i can't breath
it's the farewell times
and you're still in denial
you tell me i am in-acting a roll i've assigned myself
resentments aren't rooted in any reality

still you tell me my business is out of code,
i shouldn't make new life and
i will never deserve to be loved.