finding my personal precipice
he offered to be my guide
at the airport
he takes a spoon of milk and I'm spitting up and dripping snot onto my upper lip
Plastic gelatin napkins
soaked wiped, a cold jelly clean.
And you look up my nose
and tell me the coast is clear.
I am up against myself inverted
There is no glitter on my wings (I hate glitter I insist)
I leave behind crumbs and dust
I bring no jokes, no sunshine
I am tears and gnashing and snotty from the milk
I will crush these grapes in the cracks of your clean couch.
I am an easy target,
Because I am dirty
When you say I'm dirty
But you never give them any context
And for that power play
You precipice is no safer than mine
He met the perfect mate
And almost lost it
Remembering the fragile million.
They could cover my wall in paper
I could leap off the edge of this stairwell
The later would scare everybody because they don't know I can fly
I wish the wedding was in Tokyo
A thread of red pulls out a pore in my neck
I wish I was headed to Tokyo
I sit up straight even though it makes me feel too big.
I tell her I can dream straight but I can't seem to live straight. Everything is to far apart. It's more fun to fly
Her thread is matching red,
Then pulls a second white over her heart
I feel for mine, but there's only a lump
What's that?
I don't say
The way I die.
