swimming in the most beautiful swimming hole i have ever seen.  the water is clear and i can see the ways it has worn the rocks down in gradients along the edges.  A girl i am with is looking at them with me.  people are screaming, yelling that there is a swell up the river.  I swim quickly to this rock island. the middle huge flat iron looking rock at the break of the rivers begins to burst apart from a rush of a swell.  it crumbles to the ground. i decided i safest underwater behind my rock island..which crumbles in the rush, i am dragged in the current, rocks everywhere rushing to the waterfal at the end.  then i swim up.
i survived and no one wants to hear about it.  all my fingers are broken

a house on the rocks by the shore. we are down swimming at the beach. red couches line the sand.  at the peak of tide men riding white horses come in with spears.  if we are not out of the water at this moment, we will be taken out to sea. i discover this at the last moment, but v is still on the sand. i run up and inside. i pull her body through the air into the home and we watch from the window.  we can see the belly of the horse leaking clear oil into the water, dripping into the streets of the town.  if they see us through the window, which they do, we are damed.  i try and fly up through the roof, crashing through layers of glass and wood and tar, but i can't escape.  I am back in the kitchen peeling vegetables, hoping the sink doesn't over flow and the pots and pan crash to the floor.

in another dream I am on a trampoline doing tricks with my aunts.  I hear the voice of my grandma, but no one else does.

we are in the mountains looking for orange skies and white hydrangea.
there is just the right amount of density of peaks.
we are leaving, heading to the shore. 
you say you can go on and i say we still have things back at the hotel room. 
we go to the hotel room, you hand me the key - room 283 or 284. 
i cross the pool and another pool to get to the room.
the door is already open and the cleaners are hanging around in the room. 
one sitting on the bed playing my guitar. 
i gather this and that - jar of peanut butter, a sports bra, baby clothes. 
i mention my mother and she walks in. i wake up

we try to get together again but it is too hard and we argue.  The bed is too high and i knock you off the edge.  You kick me in the face.  We are away from the bed now and I am deleting files off your computer.  I tie you to me with a clear thread.  I am wrangling you, trying to get you to speak to me.  I tell you I am only using force because you act like a child.  You pull out scissors and I melt the blades.

I am vieled in front of a vanity.  The fabric comes with a rubber mask.  This startles me in the mirror, i take off the blonde wig and the shawl and rip it out.

You've found someone to talk to and she takes your side.  My love and patience is no help. She gives you a drug called Zulu.  Candy is sold from a building to subsidize the rent.

The center of my childhood home is burnt to the ground.