dreams about death

DREAMS ABOUT DEATH

there are a lot of subcategories to this topic.

the great thing about dreaming in bulk, is you can separate your life into these little dream theme eras. for example, i had a lot of chasing dreams when i was little. -- running away from something horrifying, or getting stuck while something threatening closes in on me - always escaping at the last second - running like mad. I'd say these lasted till i was about 10, maybe 8.

from 11-14 i had a lot of smothering dreams. dreams the air was removed from the room...dreams my lungs filled up with cotton (great feeling), a hand over my mouth, biological war fare. drowning. a lot of drowning. so when i was fifteen i learned out to breath underwater. I still don't like my breathing infringed upon in my waking life. these dreams were a big deal.

The first drowning dream i had: age 12
awake: i am laying in bed staring at the fan..i start twitching something awful and try to move. i can not move (my first (remembered) experience of sleep paralysis...beginning of a fun life). i start to panic, this would not be obvious, i cannot move. the room is as it is. three dark hooded figures float above me. they say nothing. the don't move. they just hover above my head between me and my fan. i dont know that i'm asleep, but i figure i must not be awake. i feel pushing on my chest, my legs being squeezed. now i am on a boat. my cousin is floating in the water. i jump in to join him. my sister and my other cousin are there. they are tredding water. i try to but i cant. i go under. they grab for me but i sink farther and farther down. i struggle, my lungs fill with water. my cousins face with his hand extended -- a last bit of light, the sun on the surface of the water, flickers green. i wake up exhausted.


The last drowning dream I allowed myself to have: age...13/14
Everything around me is white. there is a a rumbling drone sound. i take a breath and and immediately choked. i realize my head, my whole body is submerged underwater, my hands are behind my back--the rumbling sound is the facet. i struggle to get up. there is smeothing holding me down, not a person, but some device. my hands are tied together so well. i remember how i set it up so i couldn't change my mind. i grimice, i am exhausted. i look to my left and see red dancing like ink in the water. my brain goes completely warm and then an orange black like closing your eyes in the sun. the warm trickles down the sides of my head and all over my body. (what it feels like to die in every dream i've ever died in).

That was the first suicide dream i ever had. arguably the only one, but there's no one to argue these things over given they're exclusive to me. Dark times man...

-8/10 - chasing dreams
11+ : experience of voices in the room
12-14: smothering dreams (drowning) - highlighted by occasional hallucinations of people in the room, holding me down, smothering me, often times worse.
13-17: people standing over me, i'd say 14+ is when the narcolepsy kicked in full force
14-18: witnessing the harming of the people i love. lots of blood. everyone dies
15-20: apocalyptic dreams. surviving or not. if surviving, dealing with it.
18-22: the fucking warrior years. i kicked ass during this time.
21-22: passive and scary individuals in my space. people being harmed in my presence, maybe indirectly because of me. me helpless.

8-22: sex dreams. haha they're no nightmare! but recurring none-the-less...