and i start this dream with a bj....(i'm sad i said i loved you, but i don't regret it.)

we are filling up a bath and getting sexy. we stop for a while for me to take my clothes off you say something along the lines of 'it's going to be overwhelming.' sitting back in a blue button-up shirt i say, 'it's okay, i can handle it' and roll over onto my belly. i look back at you and say 'because you know i'm in love with you right?'
you don't respond.
i didn't expect you to, that's not why i said it.
you leave because you remembered something.

i'm sitting in the quarter-filled bath. she comes in and says she needs to take a shower now; sorry, get out: she has a baby shower to go to.. he is going to the same one. 'he's going to come back and he is not going to fuck you' she implies. she says something about having sex in the tub. i said we didn't have sex in the tub. she says i should get him to bring me to the baby shower. i say nah, that i would if he wanted me to, that it would be weird to ask. that i have plenty of things i should be doing. a baby shower is a pretty awkward thing to go to. we're not even dating.

we are standing in the hallway talking. she says 'of course a man would never miss you. men don't miss anything' i say, 'i don't know, i hope that's not true. i mean i've really missed him.' (i don't say who him is.) (i mean i hope he misses me too.)

i ask her what you are doing. she says you're looking for something. i ask her if she wants to see a trick. she says sure. i tell her to name something in this house she wants. she says cigarettes. i try to get the cigarettes. obviously there were none in the house. so i say, "okay i'll try my purse." i attract my purse. you come back upstairs. my purse slams into the door and gets stuck. i tell you if you ever can't find anything, that i can do this trick and then you don't have to look. you don't seem disinterested. i just can't read you.

we leave. i attract everything in the house that is mine. i realize i wasn't wearing shoes. all i have are muddy flipflops. you want me to go to the baby shower or maybe you feel obligated to invite me. i look like a sexed wreck and all i have are muddy flip-flops. i'm sad i said i loved you, but i don't regret it.