my mate among the souls

i lay on my back until i crossed over.

 cradled in small petals, warm water frames my face.  i sink deeper.  i sunk deeper and joined the other bodies.  they raised their arms in the air.

off to find my mate among the souls.


i weep into his fur and thank him for the white.  i say i just wanted the will!




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he left her with 5 times a month.  she smoked cigarettes in bars alone.


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falling asleep as losing one sense at a time.

You walked on pins and muddy needles with her, but still you walked away. You watched me from the dark where you sat by your lonesome. I hoped for no regrets. I hoped you thought I was beautiful. (we let the dogs destroy the old couch)

I hid you under my sheets so no one would see. You fit perfectly to me.

lame lame lame

i met danielle brutto, she was a young painter. her paintings were lame. it was still cool to meet her.

i regulared a bar where my dream state static stood out. i ate heaps of fries and cheese grits. My sloppy, sloppy state quickly warmed the hearts of the owners, who gave me drugs. I hoped they would still be in my pocket when i woke up. I always wish this. I did them in the bathroom and made time speed along to the rhythm of my heart beat. by the time i came out everyone was gone.


i lay in bed and look out the window at the skyline of new york. the beep beep honks are lullabies. I feel emptiness and longing and all that because it's not real. I consider installing some sort of streaming video in my window at home...


i yell at you for getting with my friends. leave my friends alone! i say --- well next time, just leave my friends alone, okay?


We all get massages and Target adds a second floor/embraces the industrial look. They also put their conditioner in those gasstation fridges with the slidey doors. Everything is run off of ipads. you can even make the escalator go faster...with your ipad.

hello grandma, come visit me more often

i dreamt you were at the table, your young self across from your dying-state self, me in between.

Your absence came up in their conversation. To which I said, but can't you see she is right here! You looked at me knowingly. You reminded me that I believe. You reminded me find faith.

What is wrong is they don't already know.

everything is red

kids take off their sneakers, lie on their backs and shoot heroin into the bottoms of their feet



i made sand paintings on the floor of the school's office. it comforted me because your mom was working and i could hear her voice in the background. she would come in and check on me. An outgoing kid came in and asked why i didn't take painting 4, the theme was sound of music. I asked "is it fair to say i didn't know it existed?" I find, instead of painting, I choose to do the most tedious things possible. blessmyheart

we are hanging out with David's friends, but you are you. A blonde comes in and she is josie. You want to put your arm around her but I am in the way. I am mad I am limiting you, but glad we are hip to hip. There is a picture of you and her. she is blonde and you don't like blondes, but you like her. She has a cute face and doesn't remind you of me or anyone else you've been with. She is new

our love hangs like cats legs being held by the underarms.

everyone leaves. you are behind the bar. you have you head down and you hear my sister and you say goodbye michelle, goodbye danielle. I say, oh sorry, I am still here. You say " no that's fine. that's just fine. don't worry it's okay. if you want to stay you can. I wasn't going to see anyone. If you love me, then you can stay if you want." I ask "well do you love me?" you "didn't i just say that?" "no." "i will never love anyone else. Ever. Not after last night. You see...I was with this girl and... she did things to me....I will never forget." You are scared and frantic...I wake up.

history repeating itself

i dreamt you got coked up and back with your ex-girlfriend.

no one was on my side.

not that i expected you would be...

i faked a job at the fruit bin. Bandits came to get your new/old lady. She was born bad. I bless us with the usual defense, and send their bullets back. They absorb through them.-.Wow. This is bad. I give a loud native cry, hand to the mouth, o' face and all, to call back up. The bandits think 'oh shit' and surrender. I let the natives send their arrows anyway, just to prove i mean business. I thank the tribe with a breathing ritual.

You watch my face fill with air, you walk away with her.