become invisible///thawing

i dreamt i made my blood stop churning so i could disappear for you.
I dreamt i could be still and you wouldn't have to see me, so that i could follow close behind.
I dressed myself in all white, went to your old haunts - stood faceless in the bathroom mirror.

I climbed up to the top of a tree to get closer to you. a branch stuck deep through my skin above my heart. there was no blood - the ripped skin hung like frozen meat. i felt the lack of living.

a woman noticed and called me down, touched my arm tender, and warned me of walking dead.
so, i walked on the sidewalk by your home, no longer wanting to hide. someone recognized me and insisted i stay. they held me by the arms, picked at my skin and my blood ran warm again. my skin weeped red streams down my arms. blood trickled out the hole over my heart. i knew i was more alive and to keep living. they took me in and called you up.

(i can't pretend to not care, i can't pretend to not see)

(i didn't inflict the wounds, but i did delay the bleeding.)

(love made my blood run cold)